The Journey to being a better version of myself
I still remember the first time I was introduced to Yoga by my Mother when I was about 6 years old. It began as I watched my mother practice yoga after my younger sister was born and I was fascinated by the movements and shapes she made. As a teenager, my mother taught me Sun Salutations / Suryanamaskar and a few other Asanas to help me get rid of my acne. Little did I know back then what Yoga was about and that it would change my life for me.
The Trigger
Fast-forwarding to 22 years from then - I got back home from work and plonked myself down on my couch after a long and stressful day in a corporate office. I closed my eyes and sighed heavily. I began complaining in my head about work, the complications in my personal life, the responsibilities of mundane chores at home, my unhealthy lifestyle…etc. It turned into me feeling absolutely demotivated and blaming myself for not being good enough. Next thing I know, I was breathing rapidly and having an emotional meltdown. I didn’t eat that night and I cried myself to sleep. This happened again, and again and a few more times. This is when I realised that I needed to fix myself before I lost the plot. I had to find a distraction that would also keep me fit. I had tried going to the gym before, but I did not enjoy the feeling of punishing my body and feeling sore every day. Having enough soreness to deal with in my head, I didn’t need physical soreness to add to it. I was simply looking detox, de-stress and be more healthy but, my search for a Yoga class near home was in vain.
Picking up the Practice
As I browsed through social media one day, I came across a video of someone practicing a Shoulderstand / Sarvangasana and it suddenly reminded me of my mother’s practice & how I enjoyed practicing yoga with her. Armed with the internet & its hoard of information, I began my yoga journey as a self-taught home-practitioner.
I am more of a visual learner, I would watch Yoga practice videos on social media and try to understand sequencing and reasons for practicing the asanas. I’d then try to practice them on my own and just flow with it. I had no clue about sequencing, so it was mostly-mindless and amateur Vinyasa flow sequences! Neither did I know the names of the asanas, so I would scour through pages of tutorials, charts and videos online. As time passed, I began noticing subtle changes in my body, breath & state of mind; clearly even my mindless practice was working in a mysterious way so I practiced 3-4 days in a week.
The Catalyst to deepen my practice
As a working professional in a highly competitive corporate world, work-related stress and mundane daily activities began overwhelming me. I felt constantly under the pressure of being judged & criticised. The stress began impacting various aspects of my life, physical and mental health. I realised that it is better late than never to begin my journey to wellness and preventive care. So, I enrolled myself into a Teacher Training Course simply to deepen my practice.
The course gave me a deeper understanding of Yogic philosophies and helped me go beyond the physical postures to get a better understanding of different aspects of Yoga & Ayurveda.
On the mat & off the mat
When I began my Asana self-practice, I did not know the reason or the meaning behind the practice. I did not know that it was beyond the physical aspect of it. I used to be excited about being able to achieve complex postures and gaining flexibility. There was no “Sthiram” or “Sukham” in my Asana. I was stunned when I found out that Asana simply means a comfortable seated posture and the purpose of the Asana practice is to prepare the body to be able to sit still in order to meditate. Going beyond the physical aspect of the posture, the physiological and psychological aspects of the practice have benefitted me immensely.
Being able to sequence sensibly and apply the yogic philosophies on my mat has changed my practice to make it more mindful. I began questioning every movement, its purpose and how it impacted my mind during practice.
I like to take my learning from my mat and into my daily life. My Asana practice has taught me several lessons about discipline, overcoming fear, self-acceptance, progress and humility.
For example, I like to compare a difficult situation in my life to a complex / challenging yoga posture. When we are in a complex/challenging posture, the approach matters (getting in and getting out of the asana), no matter how difficult it may be to breathe in that posture, we make a conscious effort to breathe. This activates our parasympathetic nervous system to cope with “stress” of the challenge and hold the pose for longer. If we apply the same principle to a stressful situation in life, we would certainly be able to deal with it in a better way.
Just the first 3 limbs of Ashtanga Yoga (Yama, Niyama & Asana) have changed the way I make decisions and have made me more productive. My life has become more positive, meaningful and less stressful.
Yoga is clearly beyond the Asana. Yoga for me begins with connecting with my body, breath and mind by simply closing my eyes, slowing down my breath & reflecting on my experiences as a witness; letting the thoughts come and go. Connecting with my breath has helped me to be in the ‘here & now’ and I believe that the present is where all the magic happens. Applying the same concept and method in activities in my daily life (walking, doing chores, cooking...etc) helps me be more present in my thoughts and actions - leaving lesser room for mistakes.
Being able to connect with myself more intuitively has helped increase self-awareness to identify and differentiate between ‘wants’ and ‘needs’; in all aspects of my life.
Being a better version of myself
We are all searching for a purpose. We do not know why we are born and what is the purpose of our life. We cannot change the situations that we are handed by Life, but we can change how we deal with them; ‘responding’ instead of ‘reacting’. I realised that I am my own competition & I need to “Be a better version of Myself” every day.
To be a better version of myself, I needed to find the right balance within myself. Yoga has helped me channel my energy and emotions to organise my thoughts better. I now understand that how I treat others is a reflection of how I treat myself and that my thoughts & expressions influence the environment around me. The Yamas & Niyamas have helped me increase mindfulness in my thoughts and actions, thus changing my interactions with my environment (people, surroundings and other living beings).
It is only halfway through my Teacher Training Course that I felt the sudden urge and need to share this practice with whoever that wants to reap its benefits. I relate to Yoga deeply as I find it is a sustainable and holistic approach to physical, physiological, emotional and mental well-being. Yoga has truly changed my life and made it more meaningful by making healthy choices. This has brought me happiness. When the mind is happy, it shows in the body and when the body is happy, it impacts the mind.
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